Get a good look at that title while you can, because it's the last time you're going to see it used (way too much typing for one game's name). Super Robot Taisen is a spin-off game to the popular Japanese strategy role-playing game, though this time around it's a traditional turn-based RPG with elements of a semi real time battle system, which is one of the best systems (in theory) I've played in a long time. The story is pretty incomprehensible, but it does have boobs…lots and lots of boobs. It's strange to be saying that's a selling point of the game.

Kaguya

Trying to tell you the exact details of Super Robot Taisen's story is like asking me to tell you what the heck an overly artsy film is really trying to say within its strange pictures and loose narrative. In other words, I have an inkling as what's happening, but to say I'm 100% sure would be a big lie. The game starts off with Haken and Aschen (a space cowboy and his hot green-haired android bounty hunter partner who turns into a Valley Girl whenever she gets overheated) going through the wreckage of a ship that they were found in years ago when they crash landed on the planet. The duo is soon joined by a princess smuggling two watermelons down the front of her dress, another princess who dances to disco while her pet robot attacks, a pair of hunters (one looks like a skunk and the other has fox ears), and an android woman named KOS-MOS from the Xenosaga series that loosens her bra when she needs to go into Overdrive mode. Hey, if I didn't play the game with my own hands, I'd think you were lying to me too, but those are genuinely the characters at your disposal. As your band of colorful characters come together, you'll begin to learn about a war that happened years ago, miniature robots on the loose, and why weird colored crystals are overtaking the worlds, which are all connected by a series of gates.

The story of Super Robot Taisen is very hard to follow, as there's so many make-believe words that all seem to be spelled somewhat alike, you'll start wondering what that kakiu-whatsitcalled was ever mentioned to be in the first place. Most of the main characters even have rivals that tie into their past, which makes you feel like you're left out in the dark once they start talking about them, and as if you need to play catch-up just to see what's happening. Of course, then good guys become bad guys, bad guys aren't really that scary and are quite friendly, and then there are some characters you don't know what the heck they are.

Suzuka

While the story is hard to follow and the writing is pretty mediocre when trying to convey it, I did really enjoy the writing when it comes to the sexual innuendoes…of which there are many in this game. Haken can't talk to a woman without hitting on her, referencing her chest size, or being called a pervert. Kaguya's breasts are so big that everyone who comes across her has to say some catchy line about their size, which basically translates to, "Hot damn those things are huge!" Then you've got Xiaomu who has some fascination with spanking and a cat who is definitely bi-sexual at best and who hits on everyone with a pulse. It's silly and childish, but I still got a giggle like someone saying vagina for the first time in sexual education class. I'll admit it…I'm immature to a degree. Besides the writing, there is plenty of fan service too, such as special attacks and Overdrive moves that focus on either breasts jiggling or clothing disappearing enough to display their ample bounty a bit more. If the thoughts in the paragraphs so far have offended you, stop now, because the game isn't for you.

Once you get past the characters, story, and immature humor, there's a really fun battling system to play around with, even if the gameplay isn't as tight as it could be. Characters have HP and SP (magic points basically) that act like they do in seemingly ever other RPG out there, but a special COM meter is new, which dictates how much you can attack. Whether it's using skills, items, or attacking, each action while battling takes away a set amount of COM; once your COM is empty your turn is done until the next go. You'll then juggle these three numbers/meters while trying to finish off your enemy, which can net you extra experience points based on how they're finished (skill, cancel, Overdrive).

Boobs

The most basic of commands is issued with the A-buttons and these are pre-set by the player in a flowchart like system. If you're allowed five hits, for instance, the attack pattern you have pre-set for that character will cycle through its first five actions. Each action has several stats, as they could be low on damage but high on its ability to raise your Overdrive ability, while some attacks are more powerful, but either they take-up so much COM you can't do as many moves per turn or you don't know how to properly chain them or cancel out for bonus FG points (Frontier Gauge – leads to Overdrives…super powerful attacks). Canceling an action for extra FG is a really important skill to master, as it will help you build up your meter quicker than usual, and you'll definitely need your Overdrives during boss battles (of which there are plenty).

A big part of the game's combat system, however, isn't about just attacking once and that's it. Instead, Super Robot Taisen is all about chaining attacks from one to the next, which will keep your enemy juggled in the air, and allow you to amass chains longer than 100 attacks and damage of 30,000 or more. Beyond attacking with just the currently selected character, you can also call-in reserve characters for an attack by pressing left on the direction pad (each character can call two support attacks per turn though you'll keep using them over and over through battle as long as you have SP), or you can press right to call in the next character ready for action if they follow right behind you in the action queue. Theoretically, if all four of your characters were lined-up for attacks in a row and were using moves with the lowest amount of COM usage needed, a single turn could look like this:

Main character A attacks five times and uses two support attacks, calling in character B for five attacks and two support attacks, who calls in for character C for five attacks and two support attacks, who calls in for character D for five attacks and two support attacks. Plus, if enough FG is built up for an Overdrive, add that to the end of character D for another attack. So you can see, you'd do a lot of damage over a huge number of hits. The catch is, however, that you need to keep the enemy you're fighting free falling in the air while you juggle them, never letting them have the chance to touch the ground. If an enemy touches the ground you not only lose the chain, but they have the chance to perform a Forced Evasion, which stops you dead in your tracks from attacking, and could lead to a counter-attack on their end.

KOS-MOS

While this juggling system is very fun and actually pretty deep as well, other elements of the battle system are broken and you'll either rarely use them or never use them at all. Do you think you should guard an attack? Don't bother – never did once and did fine. You think you need a bunch of healing items? Nah, get some smelling salts incase you should die and stuff to replenish SP (it's all you need). Mentalities (buffs) that you cant set or determine when they're used? Also, you're given a bunch of different special skills, but outside of the ones used for healing characters, there's really no point to use them. I became aware of it at around the 25-hour mark, but I had yet to once use any special skill other than the healing ones. I never once found it useful to further buff my characters, place special status hurting effects on the enemy, or even bother to take the ones off given to me by the enemy.

Besides the battle system that isn't all there when you look at the full picture, the game is also pretty grind heavy at points, which is equally disappointing when it takes so long to even get the experience needed to gain a level. The overhead map system is barely above the quality of an old NES RPG, too many enemies are recycled with nothing more than different paint jobs, and the game also features too many boss battles, which usually happen in rapid succession with little to no warning, and with no real chance to heal or save between them without a lot of backtracking. With that said, the graphics are charming and pretty nice when it comes to the actual battles, Overdrive cutscenes, and static images of people standing around and talking, while the audio does repeat too often, but the music is otherwise pretty good and I enjoy hearing the characters fight with actual Japanese dialogue coming from my speakers (though I have no clue what they're saying).

In the end, Super Robot Taisen OG Saga: Endless Frontier is a very polarizing game for me. While there are elements that I really enjoy and feel the game nails almost perfectly, there are other elements that seem way out of place, and as if the game wasn't as finely balanced as it could've been (such as when it comes to abilities during battles that just feel like a waste). If you want a portable RPG fix then Super Robot Taisen will scratch that itch, but it's not an instant RPG classic either.

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